Swipes, Screens, and Skepticism: Why Trust Is Harder to Build Today

What’s Missing from Modern Relationships

Modern dating is often framed in emotional terms: burnout, frustration, disillusionment. Yet when people are asked directly what feels absent from relationships today, they do not describe drama or fading chemistry. They point to something more structural.

Our nationally representative survey sheds light on how people are experiencing relationships right now, what they believe is missing, and the standards they are increasingly unwilling to compromise on.

The biggest gaps are foundational

Respondents identified foundational qualities as the aspects most lacking in modern relationships. Trust ranked highest at 28%, followed by commitment at 22% and communication at 20%. Time and attention was cited by 12%, emotional safety by 9%, and fun and spontaneity by 8%.

With trust topping the list and commitment close behind, the findings suggest that concerns in modern relationships may be rooted more in uncertainty than in a lack of excitement. Rather than pointing to an absence of spark, respondents appear to be highlighting gaps in reliability and reassurance. Modern relationships may not be short on chemistry, but they may feel less certain than people would like.

Technology isn’t solving the problem

Technology was once positioned as the great connector. But the data suggests many people feel it may be compounding some of these gaps.

A clear majority (63%) agree that “Dating apps make people feel more disposable.” This sense of replaceability aligns with other concerns about how technology is shaping behaviour in relationships:

·       54% agree that “Technology has made it easier to avoid difficult conversations.”

·       75% agree that “Social media creates unrealistic expectations about relationships.”

·       73% agree that “It’s harder to trust intentions when dating online.”

These are not marginal concerns. They point to a growing perception that while digital platforms increase access, they may simultaneously undermine depth, accountability, and clarity. When avoidance is easier, expectations are inflated, and alternatives feel endless, trust becomes harder to build. Communication becomes more fragile. Emotional openness can feel riskier.

Half (51%) say technology has damaged relationships overall, compared with just 22% who believe it has improved them. In other words, the tools designed to streamline connection may be contributing to the very issues people say are most lacking: trust, honesty, and emotional presence.

Importantly, while these concerns are shared across genders, women consistently express stronger levels of scepticism. Women are significantly more likely than men to agree that dating feels more complicated than it used to be, that social media creates unrealistic expectations, and that it is harder to trust intentions when dating online. The direction of opinion is broadly aligned, but women tend to register greater concern about complexity and authenticity in the current environment.

High standards, clearly stated

That selectivity becomes even clearer when respondents were asked how strongly they agreed with a series of statements about relationships.

Among singles:

·       79% agree that “I would rather be single than in an emotionally draining relationship.”

·       71% agree that “Protecting my peace matters more than being in a relationship.”

·       63% agree that “I’m more cautious about relationships than I used to be.”

·       61% agree that “It feels risky to be emotionally open when dating now.”

These are not fringe views. They represent majority positions across the single population and help explain why traditional dating funnels appear slower or more selective.

Again, gender differences emerge. Women are significantly more likely to agree that they would rather be single than emotionally drained, that protecting their peace matters more than being partnered, and that it feels risky to be emotionally open. They are also more likely to describe themselves as more cautious than before. Again, the broad values are shared, but women appear more likely to prioritise self-protection in response to perceived instability.

This paints a picture of a population that is neither abandoning relationships nor chasing them indiscriminately. Instead, people appear to be slowing down, prioritising alignment, and feeling less pressure to participate unless the conditions feel right.

Why singlehood looks different now

These attitudes align with broader relationship status findings in the survey. While 33% of adults identify as single, the majority are not actively dating. 21% percent of the total population say they are single and not currently looking for a relationship, compared with just 7% who are casually dating or actively seeking.

If trust and commitment are seen as lacking, and if a strong majority believe being single is preferable to being misaligned, opting out becomes a rational, or even healthy, choice.

Among singles, 43% describe themselves as neutral about their relationship future, and 29% say they feel optimistic. Pessimism exists, but it is not dominant.

Implications for relationship formation and the future

Taken together, the results suggest a population with clearer expectations, lower tolerance for emotional friction, and a stronger focus on alignment rather than urgency.

These shifts in caution and selectivity may also have broader demographic implications. If more people are prioritising emotional safety, delaying partnership, or opting out of dating altogether, relationship formation is likely to happen later and more deliberately. Slower coupling patterns can influence timelines around moving in together, marriage, and starting families, particularly if trust and commitment are perceived as harder to secure.

This does not necessarily signal a rejection of long term partnership or family life. Rather, it suggests that future relationship formation may be more intentional and potentially more concentrated among those who feel confident in stability and alignment. Over time, this could mean fewer rushed relationships, but also later milestones and more considered pathways to partnership and family formation.